Dog Vs Cat.... A day in the life

Hauki

Regular
Dec 2, 2011
Somerset, England
Dog Vs Cat.... A day in the life

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The Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

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The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.
:biggrin:
 

HeatherTheVet

Top Veteran
Apr 23, 2011
Scotland
Heather
I've just had an epic battle of the dog vs vet variety so my sense of humour is somewhat dimmed. However I am much cheered by the thought that I will pass the bitey little b. on to one of my colleagues. Humour restored!
 

Will

All-Pro
Aug 30, 2010
England
Lovely writing Hauki

A personal cat story

My kind loving little tabby cat once needed to have a blood sample taken due to speculation that she may have feline aids. I warned the vet that they were unlikely to be successful in such a foolhardy venture but they proceeded to wrap Widget, upside down, in a thick towel and with the vets assistant holding on tight the vet approached with the needle. I suggested that the assistant might want to move her face further from the patient but I was patronisingly dismissed with the fateful words "it's Ok we've done this many times before". Not with Widget I thought to myself. Nobody is quite sure what happened next because it all happened so fast that it wasn't visible to the human eye. Suffice to say that there was what looked like the merest shift of position by the cat and blood started gushing from the assistants nose. No cat blood ever got into the syringe!
Widget, being a cat, proceeded confound the vets dire predictions and lived happily another eight years or so. Turned out she only had a tooth infection, as discovered by a more experienced vet!


Cat2 by meaning_of_light, on Flickr
 

stillshunter

Super Moderator Emeritus
Nov 5, 2010
Down Under
Mark
Thank you so much Hauki. Owning both species as well I not only related, but could not stop laughing. Excellent turn of phrase you have there my friend. Please keep up the writing and sharing...
 

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