BillN
Hall of Famer
- Location
- S W France
- Name
- Bill
One of the "cyber police" could get me for this one
ATM machine – Male or Female
A sign in the Bank lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through automatic transaction machines (ATM) enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accesing their accounts.
After months of careful research, Male and Female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.
MALE PROCEDURE.
Drive up to the ATM.
Put down your car window.
Insert card into ATM and enter PIN.
Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
Put window up.
Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE.
Drive up to cash machine.
Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with ATM.
Set parking brake, put the window down. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
Tell person on mobile 'phone you will call them back and hang up. Attempt to insert card into ATM.
Open car door to allow easier access to ATM due to its excessive distance from car. Insert card.
Re-insert card the right way.
Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on inside back page. Enter PIN.
Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
Enter amount of cash required.
Take a quick peek at yourself in rear view mirror.
Retrieve cash and receipt.
Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook. Re-check makeup.
Drive forward two feet. Reverse back to ATM.
Retrieve card. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card in the slot provided.
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
Restart stalled engine and drive off.
Redial person on mobile phone.
Drive for two miles. Release parking brake.
ATM machine – Male or Female
A sign in the Bank lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through automatic transaction machines (ATM) enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accesing their accounts.
After months of careful research, Male and Female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.
MALE PROCEDURE.
Drive up to the ATM.
Put down your car window.
Insert card into ATM and enter PIN.
Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
Put window up.
Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE.
Drive up to cash machine.
Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with ATM.
Set parking brake, put the window down. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
Tell person on mobile 'phone you will call them back and hang up. Attempt to insert card into ATM.
Open car door to allow easier access to ATM due to its excessive distance from car. Insert card.
Re-insert card the right way.
Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on inside back page. Enter PIN.
Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
Enter amount of cash required.
Take a quick peek at yourself in rear view mirror.
Retrieve cash and receipt.
Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook. Re-check makeup.
Drive forward two feet. Reverse back to ATM.
Retrieve card. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card in the slot provided.
Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
Restart stalled engine and drive off.
Redial person on mobile phone.
Drive for two miles. Release parking brake.