Not the best start for a new year, 2025.

[gordo]

Ovi, I agree with a lot of what has already been said and can't really add anything other than best wishes and positive waves for you going forward.

 

[BruceRH]

Ovi, I just saw this and I really can't add to what others have said except this, you are a special person! You have a gift for helping others as evidenced by what you have shared regarding those you care for at work. While work and work relationships can be anxiety inducing, keep in mind that it is that way for everyone, you are not alone. I do think you need to find a job that you enjoy and that probably means something with animals. But you also have a passion for history from what I have seen, your thread about the tanks was very interesting. Maybe something in a historical society, I don't know but I do know you need to stay focused and remember that there are a lot of people pulling for you. You can always express yourself here. Hang in there my friend!

 

[Briar]

Hai and thank you. Sleep has been pretty okayu, a minimum of 6 hours and average on 9 hours on my days off (with occasional naps as well). Exercise is a bit more difficult beyond my usual outings like doggie walks or photo trips. My weight puts enough pressure on my knees that I can break my kneecaps if I try to jog or run. Until I can lose some weight I have limits on what I can exercise. Losing weight with diet has never gone very well for me, health food can be to expensive and trying to keep consistency and momentul când be very difficult with depression, I have certain months of the year that it's so bad I can't even look after myself properly.

Boop the Nose is a personal project and a promise to myself to spent 2025 meeting as many fluffers and puppers as possible and if they are happy with me and nice to try and get a fisheye closeup of their nose and if I can to book their nose with my finger. I want to use the pictures to make a zine of 30 to 40 images and if I can afford it to do a 100-200 print run and sell them locally. If I can get a good price per print I want to use all the money to our local dog shelter, if not I will try to use the proceeds for the dog shelter.
It's a personal project to get me motivated and excited to go out and meet new dogs and (possibly) people, do what I love which is make images and help however much I can.

Hi Ovi, that sounds a fun and worthy project. I hope you do it.

I wasn't suggesting you look at your diet to lose weight. Look up nutrition psychiatry - it sounds interesting/promising to help improve mental health and is something you could easily try alongside your current therapy. It's basically getting better nutrition into your diet. Something we should all be trying to do anyway.

 

[CountingGx85Gx8G9s]

Sorry about you jumping spider, every animal that lives with us leaves a little of themselves behind just to let us know to grieve and then only the good memories will be left. Good luck on finding the right path.

 

[MiguelATF]

Hai and thank you. Sleep has been pretty okayu, a minimum of 6 hours and average on 9 hours on my days off (with occasional naps as well). Exercise is a bit more difficult beyond my usual outings like doggie walks or photo trips. My weight puts enough pressure on my knees that I can break my kneecaps if I try to jog or run. Until I can lose some weight I have limits on what I can exercise. Losing weight with diet has never gone very well for me, health food can be to expensive and trying to keep consistency and momentul când be very difficult with depression, I have certain months of the year that it's so bad I can't even look after myself properly.

Boop the Nose is a personal project and a promise to myself to spent 2025 meeting as many fluffers and puppers as possible and if they are happy with me and nice to try and get a fisheye closeup of their nose and if I can to book their nose with my finger. I want to use the pictures to make a zine of 30 to 40 images and if I can afford it to do a 100-200 print run and sell them locally. If I can get a good price per print I want to use all the money to our local dog shelter, if not I will try to use the proceeds for the dog shelter.
It's a personal project to get me motivated and excited to go out and meet new dogs and (possibly) people, do what I love which is make images and help however much I can.

The Boop the Nose sounds like a truly wonderful and worthy project, Ovi. I hope you continue with it.

I'll just echo some of what both Briar and a few other people have said - though my simple version probably is just to try to be good to yourself (I know, it's a cliché, but one with some truth in it), and wherever possible to find things that make you smile... whether the nose of a small fluffy animal, or a lego toy, the way the sunshine falls upon a leaf, or simply the shape of a passing cloud which appeals to you. I'll also mention that, for quite a few people, myself included, sometimes finding the right 'job' or 'profession' - can be a strange process which can take much longer than one thinks, and have some strange detours along the way. So be patient with yourself, as much as you can.

The only other thing I'll add is that, just as some things can motivate you and give you satisfaction, quite a few of your pictures do that and have done it, both for myself and many others here. So, please, in whatever ways are good for you... keep on keeping on.

 

[2SHOES]

Man, I feel this, I have been going through my own mess the past few months. Work has been crazy, something odd is going on with my body, something has changed the past few years. I am battling multiple autoimmune diseases that have crippled my energy levels, wrecked my eating and exercising habits and most recently I have had to switch to a very extreme nearly carnivore diet to limit the foods that make me sick. I don't know if it's something you've looked into, I saw someone else mention diet when it comes to the psych issues, the depression nearly went away once I started cutting out all carbs/gluten. I've learned that the Carbs and Gluten based foods would bring on strong depression and anger.

I just want to say this though, your comments and likes on my posts and images are the reason that I have been pushing myself to get out and take photos the past month. You are one of a couple of people here who are always very positive and motivating.

Thank you for being here and keep pushing to improve things in your life, it gets better!

 

[agentlossing]

Hi Ovi, that sounds a fun and worthy project. I hope you do it.

I wasn't suggesting you look at your diet to lose weight. Look up nutrition psychiatry - it sounds interesting/promising to help improve mental health and is something you could easily try alongside your current therapy. It's basically getting better nutrition into your diet. Something we should all be trying to do anyway.

Unfortunately (because of how hard and expensive it can be to make changes), diet (not dieting, but type and amount of food consumed) is an absolutely fundamental key for making any kind of life changes. Something I think @Briar is alluding to is the gut-brain axis. While it's still not understood by the majority of mental and physical healthcare providers, the gut microbiota absolutely fundamentally affects the brain chemistry, and things like depression, anxiety and a whole host of other things. Unfortunately because of how habitual food is in a human's routines, but perhaps fortunately because you can make positive changes and see results.

I tend to look at things like weight loss holistically, as a reflection of my habits, the type and amount of food I eat, more so than a target number. I often find it hard to lose weight when I need to, but at other times I lose weight (healthily) without trying. So I really think the body (and brain) adapts to what it's provided with. One easy change could be to move in the direction of the Mediterranean diet. It's trendy and a lot of the news which comes out about it is correlational and so not solid science, but the fact remains that it supports a healthy gut, and provides satiety without a lot of unhealthy fats, cholesterol and sugars. I don't measure macros or anything like that (though I think for serious weight loss that is probably the way to go - I just don't have the time or mental stamina for it), and I'm often opting for fats - but fats support overall health and cellular regeneration, and are key for healthy brain chemistry - especially omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids. My philosophy is to limit heavily processed foods. I think the body is good at telling you what it needs, but processed foods disguise the actual makeup of foods and so they make our natural feeling of satiety and appetite unable to run the way they are meant to. Diet soda is an example of this: sweetness tricks the body to thinking it's consuming simple carbs, and it acts that way even though there aren't any carbs in the drink, which turns out to be unhealthy.

A big component in our diets at home in the past year or so is a simple Greek-style salad - my version is romaine lettuce (precut or chopped and washed in a salad spinner, then you can put the extra in the fridge for next time), red bell pepper, red onion, cucumber, kalamata olives, a nice hunk of Greek feta and drizzled olive oil and a splash of lemon juice, along with cracked pepper and/or dill or fresh oregano. It's muscle memory making this dish at this point, and it's so good, so satisfying. It's not very lowfat, to be sure, but it's good simple, whole ingredients and my body actually craves it now.

Ignore this whole health screed if you want to! Diet is a very personal thing. I just feel strongly about it.

 

[L0n3Gr3yW0lf]

Man, I feel this, I have been going through my own mess the past few months. Work has been crazy, something odd is going on with my body, something has changed the past few years. I am battling multiple autoimmune diseases that have crippled my energy levels, wrecked my eating and exercising habits and most recently I have had to switch to a very extreme nearly carnivore diet to limit the foods that make me sick. I don't know if it's something you've looked into, I saw someone else mention diet when it comes to the psych issues, the depression nearly went away once I started cutting out all carbs/gluten. I've learned that the Carbs and Gluten based foods would bring on strong depression and anger.

I just want to say this though, your comments and likes on my posts and images are the reason that I have been pushing myself to get out and take photos the past month. You are one of a couple of people here who are always very positive and motivating.

Thank you for being here and keep pushing to improve things in your life, it gets better!

Huggles cuddles

 

[L0n3Gr3yW0lf]

A little update. I requested a increase of dosage of Venlafaxine from my GP/Doctor on Sunday and I got the approval on Thursday morning. I am on 225 mg for 2 days now and they just kicked in (I know, I've been told before that these kinds of medications take a long time to have effect so I don't know, maybe my body is more sensitive to these chemicals). The good news first: today I did not feel the anxiety emotionally as much and I haven't had any flooding of adrenaline. I feel a lot more calmer and relaxed.
Now for the bad news: I still don't feel right, it's very close to when I was on antidepressants (Propranolol) and anxiety SSRI (Sertraline). I have a hard time feeling the side of me that keeps me curious and creative. It is a lot quieter in my head but it's to quiet, no longer can I hear the rush of ideas and interesting conversations. I feel dull. And I still have my hand tremors.
I don't want to be in this state but I recognise that I need to keep myself safe somehow. I hope I can reduce the medication back to 150 mg after a few weeks.
At the moment I have 1 pill/75 mg to last me until Monday when my new dosage arrives which is 1 pill/225 mg so I don't have to take 3 per day as I am doing now. And they give me a new box that should last me for 28 days, maybe I can go back to the smaller dosage when I ask for the next batch. (my GP is still refusing to put me on repeated medication so I have to request for new ones every month)

 

[CatsAreGods]

Unfortunately (because of how hard and expensive it can be to make changes), diet (not dieting, but type and amount of food consumed) is an absolutely fundamental key for making any kind of life changes. Something I think @Briar is alluding to is the gut-brain axis. While it's still not understood by the majority of mental and physical healthcare providers, the gut microbiota absolutely fundamentally affects the brain chemistry, and things like depression, anxiety and a whole host of other things. Unfortunately because of how habitual food is in a human's routines, but perhaps fortunately because you can make positive changes and see results.

Definitely. It took a month or two to fully kick in, but about 6 months ago I started taking Orgain collagen peptides (with some specific gut probiotics) that I found at Costco, and I believe they've helped me calm down significantly and generally stabilize things mentally and physically.

 

[John King]

@L0n3Gr3yW0lf Ovi, I'm sure that you are aware of all this, but the warnings bear repeating.

Venlafaxine: MedlinePlus Drug Information

Venlafaxine: learn about side effects, dosage, special precautions, and more on MedlinePlus

medlineplus.gov

I'm glad that you are feeling better than you were. Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are terribly debilitating.

Wishing you all the best, my friend.

 

[L0n3Gr3yW0lf]

@L0n3Gr3yW0lf Ovi, I'm sure that you are aware of all this, but the warnings bear repeating.

Venlafaxine: MedlinePlus Drug Information

Venlafaxine: learn about side effects, dosage, special precautions, and more on MedlinePlus

medlineplus.gov

I'm glad that you are feeling better than you were. Depression, anxiety and panic attacks are terribly debilitating.

Wishing you all the best, my friend.

Thank you John.

 

[They need Teals]

After going through 11 years of various anti-depressant and mood stabilising agents, and with nothing to show for it but adverse effects and the most terrible discontinuation syndrome, I asked the psychiatrist if I could try electroconvulsive treatment/therapy.
In 2012 I was admitted to a private inpatient facility and had 12 applications of ect - at the completion of the ect, and with signs of improvement, the psychiatrist immediately commenced yet another anti-depressant and I began deteriorating.
The SSRI was ceased and a short course of dexamphetamine commenced - I improved within a few days and was back to the state that ect had got me to. I was weaned off the dexamphetamine and have been managing my condition without medication since 2012.

I have been working on my childhood history of psychological, emotional, physical, sexual abuse which clinical psychologists have called complex post traumatic stress disorder, and subsequent avoidant personality disorder. I can still see and feel all of those days and nights from childhood and adolescence with or without triggering events. I dissociated many times while trying to write this.

All the best to any person here who has or is being treated for any psychiatric/psychological condition.

 

[John King]

After going through 11 years of various anti-depressant and mood stabilising agents, and with nothing to show for it but adverse effects and the most terrible discontinuation syndrome, I asked the psychiatrist if I could try electroconvulsive treatment/therapy.
In 2012 I was admitted to a private inpatient facility and had 12 applications of ect - at the completion of the ect, and with signs of improvement, the psychiatrist immediately commenced yet another anti-depressant and I began deteriorating.
The SSRI was ceased and a short course of dexamphetamine commenced - I improved within a few days and was back to the state that ect had got me to. I was weaned off the dexamphetamine and have been managing my condition without medication since 2012.

I have been working on my childhood history of psychological, emotional, physical, sexual abuse which clinical psychologists have called complex post traumatic stress disorder, and subsequent avoidant personality disorder. I can still see and feel all of those days and nights from childhood and adolescence with or without triggering events. I dissociated many times while trying to write this.

All the best to any person here who has or is being treated for any psychiatric/psychological condition.

@They need Teals My condolences.

NO child should ever have to go through that kind of thing.

I have had a cousin and niece commit suicide as a result of abuse, one exacerbated by childhood and adult drug abuse.

May you continue to manage your life, and turn to friends or family if you're not managing, even though I fully realise that trusting someone is very difficult after what you have been through.

 

[L0n3Gr3yW0lf]

After going through 11 years of various anti-depressant and mood stabilising agents, and with nothing to show for it but adverse effects and the most terrible discontinuation syndrome, I asked the psychiatrist if I could try electroconvulsive treatment/therapy.
In 2012 I was admitted to a private inpatient facility and had 12 applications of ect - at the completion of the ect, and with signs of improvement, the psychiatrist immediately commenced yet another anti-depressant and I began deteriorating.
The SSRI was ceased and a short course of dexamphetamine commenced - I improved within a few days and was back to the state that ect had got me to. I was weaned off the dexamphetamine and have been managing my condition without medication since 2012.

I have been working on my childhood history of psychological, emotional, physical, sexual abuse which clinical psychologists have called complex post traumatic stress disorder, and subsequent avoidant personality disorder. I can still see and feel all of those days and nights from childhood and adolescence with or without triggering events. I dissociated many times while trying to write this.

All the best to any person here who has or is being treated for any psychiatric/psychological condition.

I am really sorry for all you went through. I know it's not the same but I understand how you feel, I went through most of the abuse types in my childhood including sexual abuse. It took me years to find the courage and resources to move on and that's how I ended up from Romania to UK 9 years ago, to get away from my family and only since then have I actually started making a life for myself. The only person I truly trust and feel comfortable with is my little dog and she saved me more times that I can count and photography is my self medication for the last 16 years.

I hope you can find your inner peace and a safe treatment, no matter how many scars you may have on the inside or the outside you are the most beautiful person in the world. Thank you for the bravery for sharing you life.